Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Dispatch 9: Kia, Chevy, Celica and Tucker

Kia [kee-ah] (Nonsensical faux-Latin) (Maori)

1) When suffixed by an exclamation mark, a primal scream let out in unison by a scrimage line of mad karate kickers.

2) A soldier killed in action (K.I.A.)

3) A South Korean sedan long seen as inferior to its Japanese rivals; with the 2010 troubles of
Toyota Motor Corp, this name is sure to increase in popularity among prospective parents.

4) Homonymic variant of 'Kea', a large green parrot native to the New Zealand uplands; eats insects, garbage, carrion, and even live animals (gnaws at sheep) and birds (rips little hatchlings out of nests) .

Chevy [sheh-vee] (Scottish)

1) To harrass, hurry and nag someone.

2) To harrass, hurry and nag someone to get the damn car to the auto repair shop.

3) A hunting cry.

4) Homonymic variant of a type of French goat cheese.

5) An affectionate diminutive of a certain automobile which has caused great angst to three generations of drivers since the Carter administration.

Celica  [seh-lick-ah] (Faux-Latin)

1) A seemingly healthy and sensible female who eventually proves herself to be unable to stop at anything.

2) Its homonymic variant 'Silica' is itself a Latin variant of 'Sandy', defined in certain ethnic enclaves as a female experiencing and exhibiting extreme promiscuity.

Tucker  [tuh-ker] (Anglo)

1) A person or thing that tucks or folds in.

2) Piece of linen or lace on a woman's bodice.

3) To be exhausted.

4) Anthroponymist David Palmquist reports that this is Australian slang for food, which may be substituted with vegemite, which itself means "a very strong turnip."

5) Preston Tucker's eponymously named sedan of which only 51 were made in 1948. The shortlived car maker was rumored to have been brought down by the so-called US Big Three  automakers.